21;

Because tonight I've really fallen and I need your loving hands to come and pick me up.

And I don't know why it hurts so badly tonight, and I can swear that this is something I've never ever felt before throughout the past 6 months. I guess it's this idea of what could have happened that stings, because its this whole reality that differs from this holistic imagination kills, simply because when you came into my life, you took a part of me with you, the part where it all matters the most, the heart.

I miss your voice, I miss watching you sleep so ever gracefully, I miss laughing whenever you catch me lying about something just to protect my alpha-maleness, I miss your presence, I miss just being around you, I miss sitting down and watching you cook, I miss your morning face, I miss your morning breath, I miss giving you forehead kisses, I miss carrying you to the shower, I miss carrying you and spinning you and the rhythm of your laughter, I miss telling you how beautiful and radiant you are, I miss your insecurities about your outfits, I miss you asking me to call you when you're in the cab, but most of all, I miss that feeling of completeness, in which only you can give to me.

And I guess this is why it hurts, because this longing, this desire to be with that special someone of such high magnitude is something I've never ever experienced before and you're the first, and to see where we are now compared to two weeks ago, where everything seemed to fall just in the right places, mortifies this heart even more.

But despite that, I've not going anywhere and I'm here to stay to show you mean to me. I've never stopped loving you, Lee Min Yen, not for a single milli second and I'll love you in silence, because in silence, there is no fear of rejection, and I'll also love you in loneliness, because in loneliness, no one owns you, but me.

Patience, faith, and with all the blessings from the angels, I hope that you'd somehow still read these posts, because these are the words that I mean with all my heart and soul but never had the courage to say to you.

**************

But I miss you like hell,
I still hear you in old piano.