2011;

How long are still gonna hold on to this double-edged sword called dishonesty?

Was it ever that hard for you to be honest with yourself on how you feel, for us, for me?

Was it ever that hard for you to be honest with me?

I know very well the way you convey your messages, darling. The sublimal acts you pull together, the in-between the lines reading, the vague conviction, I know them all. You can hide it from the world through the way you lie, but at the end of the day, it's yourself that you can't lie away.

I remember all the things you said to me, every inch of it, with clear pristine memory. I remember all the things we ever shared. The tears we cried together when we found that you were not coming back for a semester, the tears I shed silently when I knew that the only girl I loved so much went behind my back and that I was not good enough for her, the smiles, the laughter, those little fights we had, and the reconciliation that comes after.

I remember, I remember, I remember.

So tell me what is it that is keeping you from being honest to me, to yourself?

I'm tired of this anger, this hatred. So help me, help you.

For your own sake, and with the love of Christ himself, I hope that one day you'll know, you'll see all of this, one day, one fine day.

****************

Practice truth, and fear nothing.