Cheers To Love;

And because my only wish now is that you'll learn to love me again, just like how we did last July, because I know that when you do this time around, we'll be stronger and much more colourful than ever before.

Take my hand, through the thick and thin, you know that, I'll know that.

I love you with more and more passion everyday, with your laughters and tears to decorate my life, and it's you that I really really want.

8 months ago, 8 months after, I've never lost the faith I had in you, in me, in God, in us, and you still make my heart race all the time, everytime.

This is it, this is now, no matter what the risks are, no matter how fucking tough it'd be, I'm ready because holding you is worth it, more than anything else a boy like me can ever dream off.

So darling, I miss you and I'm still waiting to make you my queen, I want to hold you closer more than ever before, please see that, please know that, always.

******************

So cut out your pride,

don't let this slide.

Architecture In Helsinki;

I just want you to know that no matter what, even when your sky is falling down, or you feel that you've lost all hope in life, I want you to know this and know it truely in your heart, mind and soul, that come what may, I'll always always be here for you, little darling.

Because this is no time to be alone, and I will never fucking let you go. 

And I genuinely pray, with every ounce of grace, joy and faith in me to see you smile, laugh, tear, and scream with the purest of purest of hearts, and when that all happens, I'd be right next to you, smiling, knowing that for that very moment in time, you're sincerely happy, with the whole world smiling back with you.

So babydoll, please hold on to this lullaby, because I'll sing it all again for you, a song for a heart so big like yours, because nobody in this whole wide universe can ever replace you and the spaces that were carved for you in my heart.

Have a little faith with me darling, because not everyone that loves you, leaves you.

Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow.

***********

Listen to papa's translation,

and we'll write our own constellations. 

Young London;

8 months ago, you're the girl whom I was going crazy over with ever word you said, ever glance you made, every hug you gave, and every kiss you laid.

8 months later, you're still the girl whom I'm dying to call 'darling', whom I can't stop thinking about, whom without a day has gone back without thinking about you the first thing when I wake up and think of you the last thing before I sleep, whose hands I' still hold, who's waist I wanna circle my arms with, who's eyes I wanna look at, who's voice I wanna hear, who's heart I wanna have.

1 day, and I'm praying more than ever before that you'll see this through with me, and take that leap that I've been ever waiting to take you with. 

Because at the end of the day, despite everything, I'd still rather be with you, no matter what, no matter when, no matter how, just because you have that thing in you that I can never feel with someone else.

Trust me, you're the loveliest thing that these eyes has ever laid on, and this heart of mine that has ever surrendered too, and truth be told, I'd still break my back anytime, just to have one more day with you.

Iloveyouandit'salwaysbeyou, foreverandalways, alwaysandforever, Lee Min Yen.

**************

And when your heart starts to bleed,

you're dead and dead indeed.

Secret Valentine;

Because there's a part of me deep down, that's afraid, that's afraid off it all simply because you mean more than you'll ever imagined you'd be, to me, and I'll say it all over again, everyday, just to show how much I want you ever badly, right here now.

3 days, just 3 days, and I swear, we'll make this last forever.

I need your steady hand to hold my heart, because that's the only way I'll ever feel complete, to fill up that very hollow spot that only can penetrate too. So take a chance with me once again min, like when we've first met, take it once again with me, and I'd swear, I'll make you feel like the only thing you'd be conquering is not only my heart, but the world as well at the palm of your hands.

I love you, everyday, and I've never stopped waiting, and I'm not moving anywhere, because I'm going to be here for you, through the good, the bad, and everything in between. 

Watch me darling, for you, watch me, because I need you, I love you, and I just need you to know this.

Faith.

*******************

Speed up your breathing, just close your eyes.

Just A Kiss;

Because I don't know how else to tell you how much I long for you to be right here in my arms again, how I'd rush to the ends of the earth for you at any given time to save you, how I miss you more and more with every second that passes, with a pain that pierces deeper and deeper into the very core, and how much you, Lee Min Yen, are the girl of my wildest dreams, the girl that in my eyes, are as graceful as all the angels in the heaven, the girl whom I pray every night for a miracle to come true.

And this song plays in my list every single night, just because it's the first song you've ever wrote a poem about to me. I've come to learn every word that is sung, I've learned to decipher every meaning that is conveyed in this song, just hopefully wishing that I'd be able to sing it back to you with your head on my chest, and ears listening to the beat of my heart, one day. 

I'm not giving up, I'm not going anywhere, because I know when that day comes, that's the day where I'll hold closest to my heart, close my eyes, securing you in my arms and get lost in that very moment forever, with you.

And I hope that you still read this blog, because these words are the very words that I've been dying to let you know every single day.

I love you, I've said it everyday, and I'll still say it all again <3.

**************

Just a shot in the dark that you just might be the one,
I've been waiting for my whole life.

You Have Stolen My Heart;

Because my heart has never raced this fast before, or has my fingers ever shivered this much before.

It's because I know that whatever you're going to say in these next few days, is going to change my life forever. But before that, I hope that you'd know this; 

I've always loved you from the start, lee min yen, and I'm not trying to pressure you. I just feel that I need to say it out because I'm afraid that if I don't, it'll be the biggest regret of my life. My heart has never raced like this before, I've never been so scared of hearing what that comes out from a person's mouth before, but that just all means that I can't afford to loose you because you've been so much so, a part of me. You're the one I want to hold on too when I sleep, you're the one I want to conquer all your fears with, you're the one that I want to take care off through the sick times and the healthy times, because you're the one thing that I hold dearest too. Ever since you've came in, you've taught me how to fight for someone and not give up on that someone that you really want, come what may, because at the end of the day, it'll all be worth it, and I see that in you, you're that worth it. I've no idea why, but I do know that its only you who can make my heart race and flutter all together at the same time, because its' just you, leeminyen, you'd just have this thing in you that make everything in this world not matter so long as I get to see you smile, and hear you laugh and I wouldn't have dared to imagine what life would have been if I havent met you because I'd know one thing's for sure, that if I did not meet you, I'd be losing out on the single best thing in my life right now. But now that I do know you, I'd know that no matter what it takes, no matter how long it takes, I'm not going to let you go, because no idiot would let go of that one thing that matters the most, and you're that one thing.

I hope that you'd can see this through, I hope that you'd know because I need you take my hand and trust me, for everything we've been through, and for all the good times ahead, and for the times we'd cross over to the other side where the grass is greener and no matter what, no matter how high the mountains are or how deep the seas are, my arms will be wide open and ever ready to wrap you around tightly when you're ready. I'll always be here min, since april when I first met you and now, I'll always be here for you, love.

I love you, Rhyannae Santoso Lee Min Yen, always and fucking forever <3.

So listen.

***************

And you kissed me like you meant it,

I know that you meant it.

Video Games;

It's you, it's you, it's all for you, everything I do.

And I pray that tonight, somewhere deep inside you, you'd know that you're the only hand that I want to hold, you're the eyes I wanna stare and get lost in, you're the only voice I want to hear, you're the only lips I wanna kiss, and you're the only girl that I wanna whisper those three words to.

And because I've never believed in valentines day, so you'll be the first person that I'll ever want to celebrate valentines day with, and that has actually made me think of ways just to make you smile and hold you tight on this very day.

At the end of the day, it's not the exchange of 'I love you's' that matter, it not the 'I miss you's' that matter, what matters is seeing you happy, and feeling the love and warmth that I've been trying to shower you with.

Happy valentines day, Lee Min Yen, with every love hormone I have left in me, I mean this from the very bottom of my heart and soul and I hope that you'd see that you're the only one that I want to hold to closer more than ever, tonight.

*************

It's you, it's you, it's all for you,

everything I do.

Lego House;

Tomorrow, tomorrow.

And my hands are shaking as I'm typing this now, with the thoughts of being around you, with the thought of being able to look at you directly in the eyes, and stroking your hair backwards just to whisper to your ears how much I've been waiting for this day for the past 6 months and how much I love you that sometimes, it does hurt.

I've never stopped waiting, be it then, now, or in the future, I've never stopped waiting for you.

And I promise you darling, that I'll always be here to pick you up when you're getting down, side by side, step by step, never away from you. And out of all these things I've done, I know I'm ready to love you better than how I ever had before.

Come tuesday, and I'll try to steal your heart with a single breath, trust me, you'll see.

11 days, and tonight, we can truly say, together we are invincible.

****************

I'm gonna paint you by the numbers,

and frame you up my wall.

City Love;

'I love you because I know you’re always there, there to catch me when I fall, there to listen when I need you, there when I feel alone. I love you because you understand me, you know how I feel even when I can’t say it. You know I’m not as strong as I say and still you never let me know that I’m not fooling you. I love you because you make me believe, believe that I am not worthless. Believe that I can be loved, am loved, and can love others. I love you because you know, you know I feel this way but can’t say it and still you wait, letting me take my time to come to terms with the fact that I love you. I would give my life up to be with you, and above all never hurt you, lie to you, or leave you.'

Well, that's the voice of a heart that longs for a special someone, a voice of hope, faith, and courage.

As for me, I love you because of who you are and what I know that you will be, and most of all, its because I know you see me in a way that no other else do, and the truth is, if I could be with anyone, I'd still choose you hands down, be it now, in the next 5 years, or whether in the next life, it'd still be you.

xx.

****************

So tell me,

how can you dance with a devil on your back?

Count The Waves;

You're sleeping now, like how a baby sleeps after a long day, cuddling up in the corners of your bed.

Because watching you sleep is a hundred folds more beautiful than watching the moon gaze at the stars in the night and the sun rising between the curves of the highest mountains in the morning.

You make my heart blue and flutter and the same time, with that quirky smile of your and your random facial expression.

I love you, Rhyannae Santoso Lee Min Yen, over the moon and back again.

14 more days, just hang in the little darling, and I promise that we'll see this world through the way we've seen it once again.

************

This is no time to be alone,

and I will never let you go.

Heart In A Postcard;

Listen, with a heart of silence and a mind of grace, just listen to the words she lay cause here's a song for the one who stole my heart and ran so far that cupid couldn't catch her.

Because I've always been two steps besides you and I will always be next to you, through it all, every single day, just because my heart skips a beat whenever I see you smile.

And I'll be here for you to shout to, whenever you're having a bad day, just so you'd feel better after that. I'll be here for you to fall back and lean on, just when you feel that you have to much weight on your shoulder. I'll be here for you to listen to the best things that happened in that day, with my ears wide open.

I'd always be here for you to run to, whether you're having a good or bad day, I'd be standing right here for you to seek solitude, because you have a good good heart that shines brighter than anyone. Because even now, I can still feel your skin, I can still feel your hands gently across mine, I can still feel your eyes watch over me as I strum, I can still see your smile and hear your hums, I can still feel your face, resting on my chest, and your hair blowing across my face.

So come on skinny love, do know that I love you, I always have, and I always will.

****************

Come on skinny love, what happened here.

To The Girl Of My Dreams;

It's always when you feel that you're finally moving a step forward, that you'd always come across something, somehow, somewhere down the road that will hook you two steps backwards.

I've learned that my heart is vulnerable, that the foundation of the walls that I've built has all came crumbling down, and that there are times where the subconscious pain comes seeping in unnoticed, mutilating every sense of confidence I have left in me by projecting fond memories of us together, memories that I hold dearest to the heart, as well as the thought of what could have been, and what thing would have been like if I had fought for you a little harder and stronger in the past.

But on the other note, I've also learned that no matter what happens, no matter how awfully painful it may be, or however long it will take, I've learned that you'll always be the one who will hold this heart of mine, and I'll always be here, ever ready to hold your hand and cross over to the other side, where the grass is greener, the air smells nicer, and the sun shines brighter.

I don't know how, but I hope that these words would make you catch a glimpse of how I feel because this is as honest and as real as it can get, and I'd hope that you'd understand that I'm here to stay. 

This is what I've learned, and this is how I'll always feel for you, now and forever.

*************

Bless your soul, you have your head in the clouds.

Super Something;

Because every corner that I turn to, every piece of mellow tune that I listen to, every conversation I have with someone else, somehow reminds me of you, and everything we've ever shared and then I'd close my eyes, with my hands clasp so tight just to feel what is it like to actually have you standing right infront of me now.

And I still decorate my life with the things you love everyday, just incase if you showed up, so you'd be able to see how much you changed my life.

And no matter how much I'd try to fight it, I'd always fall back into your gravity, just like how a bee would always go back to the flowers. 

People come and people go, but you're that one person that I'd fight to keep constantly, just because you are Lee Min Yen, just because you're like a poster on my wall, just because you'll always have a the most wholesome grip to my heart with the way you make me feel through every shiver you send down my spine. You'd see that I'd be better, stronger, and at my best for you, for me, and for everything in the past, present, and future.

I love you supergirl, with everything I am, and everything I want to be, more and more with every beat of the heart, just like how a hero would always love his heroin, and I hope that you'd know this always.

Feel the heart beat in my mind.

**************

You don't have to be afraid,

for I am just like you.

Hold You, Feel You, Touch You, Always;

And I guess I now know why they say that the darkest times of the day falls between 3 am to 3.30am, because tonight, thoughts and memories all came rushing through my mind, almost like a soldier firing an artillery of bullets right straight through the head, each piercing the very sole painful area in which I've longed tried to buried.

 

And tonight, I'm just going to pour out my heart for you because I don't know how else to say that I love you with every inch of muscle that works within my heart, so listen closely, for these are the very sole poems of the heart that has been kept for you, and only you.

I remember that very first night when Pardeep first showed me a picture of you 9 months ago, and somehow, I had this small tickle through my spine when I first laid eyes on you, virtually. It was that kinda feeling one way or another, you'd just know that this person is going to special, but you don't know how it'd happen, and when. But I thank god everyday for colliding our paths ever since then, because honestly, you've been nothing but a blessing, from the way you are, the nature of your heart, the way your smile is carved on your face, the way you know just the right things to say to make my heart race and most of all, the kinda love you give me effortlessly which completed me as a whole.

Things might not have worked out for the best between us, and I admit, things could have been better and more colourful, but I've never looked back or regretted any of it. Because not matter what, one thing's for sure, I've never given up faith on us, not for a second, not even the thought about it, because I knew that when you first laid your heart on my chest that very night in my room, I knew that you were that very one soul out of the 5.9 billion people that I've always been looking for, and I knew that I'd be a fool if I were to just let you slip away like that, to let go of what I knew was precious to me. The thought of you, the picture of your face, the sound of your voice, the touch of your hands, the texture of your lips, the warmth of your hugs is something that plays through my mind everyday, almost like a recorder which only has the loop button because when I think of you, and everything about you, it all feels so surreal, to be able to feel that warmth as if we were still living in that very moment, in a moment where I felt complete, in a moment where I knew we were genuinely happy knowing that we had each other by our sides to conquer whatever that was ahead of us, in a moment where I feel privileged to be able to give my heart to you and still love you till the very ends of the earth.

And words can only say so much about how much I miss you and how much I long for you to fall back into my arms to wrap you around them tighter than ever before, just to give you that sense of security and that promise that I'd be here for you through it all no matter what, no matter when. I love the way you're insecure about your dressing at times, but yet you'd pull off breath taking outfits everytime, I love the way you'd whip all your hair to one side and make that fringe of yours just to tease me, I miss how you're so enthusiastic whenever you talk about your make up, I miss the way you shout at me, I miss the way you'd scold me whenever I do or say something stupid, I love the way you'd cook for me late at night even though you're dead tired, just to make sure I wouldn't go to bed hungry, I miss all the smoke breaks we had whenever we're revising for exams, I miss the nights where you'd sit infront of me with your head on my chest whenever we watch crime watch before we sleep, I miss the way you'd smile at me over skype, I miss the way we'd stare into each other's eyes and know just how lucky I am to have you right here, right now, I miss the way you call me fat, I miss the way you'd tell me about your day, I miss the way you'd overthink sometimes, I miss hugging you in the cold, I miss holding your hand and walk to dinni's for lunch everyday,  I miss watching you fall asleep every night just to know that you're safe next to me, I miss the way you'd steal the blankets off me, I miss waking up to you in the morning and sleeping next to you at night, I miss the way I'd whisper 'Good morning, baby' every morning which giving you a forehead kiss, and honestly, all these images, the feeling that we shared, they all still pump through my blood everyday, like cocaine, raw cocaine.

I miss you, I love you and everything about you, the good, the bad, and everything in between, without a doubt, because to love you is to be with you through thick and thin, through it all.

I don't need all the gemstones or fame in the world, I don't need the shooting stars or the moon to smile back at me,  for all I need is your steady hand, your kind soul to keep my heart with, and to know that I'd be able to fall asleep and wake up, knowing that my heart is save with you and all the love that I have for you. Therefore, I'm not giving up, even if it takes me to walk a thousand miles, or wait for a thousand years, because what you've gave me, what you are to me makes it all worthwhile, even if its just being able to hold you for a day, I'd still do whatever it takes. The happiness, peace, solitude, and joy you give me whenever you are around me is irreplaceable, and for me, its something that I'd pray for every night.

I've fell in love with you ever since 8 months ago and I've never stopped loving you, and I promise to always love you, just because you're the only girl who's managed to sweep me off my feet and steal my heart every time I see you, and you'd somehow have this magical force that would pull me right back to you whenever you're around me. I may not be the most romantic of guys, but I promise you that I will be the truest, most honest, most sincere, most genuine, and most loving guy that you'd ever encounter in your life so far. This is my oath to you, this is what I'll provide you with endlessly, and my promise that I vow to keep no matter what gets in the way, if you'd allow me the chance to show you and let you feel it all.

'My heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury, or wear as jewellery, 
whichever you'd prefer.'

I love you, Rhyannae Santoso Lee Min Yen, and you will always always be that girl whom I'll always want to the prince to, and the girl who'll never fail to make my heart flutter with the sound of your name <3.

Always and forever, forever and always till the rivers all run dry, always remember this, do remember, and I'll hope that you'll see this through with me.

*****************

May you live to a hundred,

and for me, a hundred minus one,

so that I'll never know that a beautiful person like you, has passed away.

Iris;

And I've been praying harder that ever, with my fingers sealed in between one another, my tongue move to the sounds of my mind, just to be able to hold you in my arms once again.

Because it fucking hurts to see where we are now, to see us fall back into little black hole where everything feels different, as opposed to how we were 2 weeks ago or so, because I fucking miss you, more than you'd ever know, and even typing this is feels like a thousand stabs to the heart.

And it's the kinda of pain where only you have the remedy to it. 

And the worst part is that I don't know what went wrong or where did it all go wrong, and I'm trying so desperately to turn this around, because I need you so much closer, more than ever before, and because this heart is screaming louder than ever before.

I still feel you all in every breath I take, in every sight I make, and in every phrase I hear, that's how much you've changed my life and I really hope you can see it.

I love you, with every step I take, with every move I make, so much so, that words can only express a minute extract of it. So please, take my hand, take this jump with me, have a little faith in us,  and I promise I'm not going to let you go, because I swear, I'd make you feel like you were born to rule this world.

I'd still pour out my heart for you, in every way, just to let you listen to these ballads that I've been longing to sing to you everyday.

************

With all these words to say and hearts to feel.